jump to navigation

be a man April 29, 2013

Posted by lumierre9 in life lessons, movies, share the truth.
Tags: , ,
1 comment so far

these past few months God has been teaching me a lot about being a strong man. I learned before, that a man should be able to lead, make decisions, treat women well, and so on. I’ve been through quite a long process and even until now I’m still learning more and more to become a man God wants me to be.


some time ago I watched a movie called “Ted”. probably it’s an image of many men these days, and maybe in some way I was like that also. the story is about a 35 year-old-guy who is too attached to his “magical” teddy bear that he got since he was 8 years old. he feels too comfortable with the teddy bear and it holds him back from having a more mature relationship with a woman. even after he decided to move on, when temptation came he started to compromise and ended up screwing things up. an image of a man who prefers to do silly things, can’t make a strong decision, always try to play safe and can’t keep his words.

The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. -Eph 5:23 MSG

God puts a man to be a leader in the family, of his wife and his children. how can he lead well if all he thinks is all about himself, or if he can’t make any decision? there are two possibilities that maybe many of us can relate to. it’s forming either a selfish, strict, or even violent man; or, a passive man who lets the woman leads. I think these are one of the reasons why many marriages are unhappy, because it’s not how the marriage is supposed to be.

I think I can put myself into the second group. I never felt confident to lead. I couldn’t really make decisions. I didn’t really know what I wanted. when I was asked about something, almost everytime I will answer “anything is ok”, like when they asked my opinion of where to go for dinner. a female friend once challenged me, “hey don’t keep saying ‘anything’, you’re a man, you should learn to make a decision starting from simple things like this”. she got a point there. I couldn’t stay like that forever. what if I have a family and all I say is “anything” and leave all the burden to my wife? that doesn’t sound fair.

it was around the time when I ‘began my journey’ to become a real man. many years have passed, I have been through a lot of experiences and challenges, and I know even until now I’m still not ‘perfect’, sometimes I feel that making a decision is still a challenging thing for me, but I know how much I’ve grown throughout this time. not only learning to make decisions, I learn to lead people, to communicate better, to keep my words and have integrity, and so on.

recently I learned more about being a strong man from a book titled “Wild at Heart” written by John Eldredge. the journey of becoming a man doesn’t just stop there. it’s said in the book that many christian men feel bored because they are only taught to be nice but not to be how a real man should be. they are afraid to take adventures, take challenges that can make them feel ‘alive’.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

the problem is that there is a wound in every man’s heart. maybe from family background or experiences from the past, those wounds constructed a false self in most men. those wounds need to be healed and the only one who can heal them is God.

when I was a kid I used to be a crybaby, I cried easily when a friend at school tripped me over or when a teacher scolded me. “A man shouldn’t cry!” that’s what people around me always said, and I guess that’s the image of man most of us grew up with. unconsciously that created a wound in my heart and later made me an ’emotionless’ boy. I didn’t cry anymore, not only over small things like that, but also to anything. when other people shedded their tears (even guys) when watching something touching, I didn’t feel anything. until I started to know God more, God healed me and changed my life. now I can feel something again. now I know what it’s like to be touched in the heart.

As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand. -Jeremiah 18:6 NLT


there are still some wounds in my heart that God is still healing one by one. God is still shaping me into what He wants me to be. and I want to live a life full of adventure as a strong man of God.