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be a man April 29, 2013

Posted by lumierre9 in life lessons, movies, share the truth.
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these past few months God has been teaching me a lot about being a strong man. I learned before, that a man should be able to lead, make decisions, treat women well, and so on. I’ve been through quite a long process and even until now I’m still learning more and more to become a man God wants me to be.


some time ago I watched a movie called “Ted”. probably it’s an image of many men these days, and maybe in some way I was like that also. the story is about a 35 year-old-guy who is too attached to his “magical” teddy bear that he got since he was 8 years old. he feels too comfortable with the teddy bear and it holds him back from having a more mature relationship with a woman. even after he decided to move on, when temptation came he started to compromise and ended up screwing things up. an image of a man who prefers to do silly things, can’t make a strong decision, always try to play safe and can’t keep his words.

The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. -Eph 5:23 MSG

God puts a man to be a leader in the family, of his wife and his children. how can he lead well if all he thinks is all about himself, or if he can’t make any decision? there are two possibilities that maybe many of us can relate to. it’s forming either a selfish, strict, or even violent man; or, a passive man who lets the woman leads. I think these are one of the reasons why many marriages are unhappy, because it’s not how the marriage is supposed to be.

I think I can put myself into the second group. I never felt confident to lead. I couldn’t really make decisions. I didn’t really know what I wanted. when I was asked about something, almost everytime I will answer “anything is ok”, like when they asked my opinion of where to go for dinner. a female friend once challenged me, “hey don’t keep saying ‘anything’, you’re a man, you should learn to make a decision starting from simple things like this”. she got a point there. I couldn’t stay like that forever. what if I have a family and all I say is “anything” and leave all the burden to my wife? that doesn’t sound fair.

it was around the time when I ‘began my journey’ to become a real man. many years have passed, I have been through a lot of experiences and challenges, and I know even until now I’m still not ‘perfect’, sometimes I feel that making a decision is still a challenging thing for me, but I know how much I’ve grown throughout this time. not only learning to make decisions, I learn to lead people, to communicate better, to keep my words and have integrity, and so on.

recently I learned more about being a strong man from a book titled “Wild at Heart” written by John Eldredge. the journey of becoming a man doesn’t just stop there. it’s said in the book that many christian men feel bored because they are only taught to be nice but not to be how a real man should be. they are afraid to take adventures, take challenges that can make them feel ‘alive’.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

the problem is that there is a wound in every man’s heart. maybe from family background or experiences from the past, those wounds constructed a false self in most men. those wounds need to be healed and the only one who can heal them is God.

when I was a kid I used to be a crybaby, I cried easily when a friend at school tripped me over or when a teacher scolded me. “A man shouldn’t cry!” that’s what people around me always said, and I guess that’s the image of man most of us grew up with. unconsciously that created a wound in my heart and later made me an ’emotionless’ boy. I didn’t cry anymore, not only over small things like that, but also to anything. when other people shedded their tears (even guys) when watching something touching, I didn’t feel anything. until I started to know God more, God healed me and changed my life. now I can feel something again. now I know what it’s like to be touched in the heart.

As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand. -Jeremiah 18:6 NLT


there are still some wounds in my heart that God is still healing one by one. God is still shaping me into what He wants me to be. and I want to live a life full of adventure as a strong man of God.


energy saving – hyouka (省エネ – 氷菓) October 11, 2012

Posted by lumierre9 in chit-chat, life lessons, movies.
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several months ago i started watching an anime called hyouka (氷菓). i’m not gonna write about the story, only about the main character which i found interesting. his name is Oreki Houtarou (折木 奉太郎) and he’s an “energy saving” (省エネ) person. he doesn’t do many things because he doesn’t want to waste his energy for unnecessary things. he studies only to get passing score although actually he’s smart, and he never intended to join any club activities. he doesn’t like troublesome things. his motto is “if it’s ok not to do it i don’t do it, if i have to do it i finish it quickly” 「やらなくてもいいことならやらない、やらなければいけないことなら手短に」

i found this somehow kinda similar with myself. i also don’t want to spend my energy to do things that i don’t think is necessary. when i go up on stairs, i always take two steps at once because i feel it’s less tiring compared to taking every single step. back in tokyo i chose to stay in apartment near to my campus, and now also my apartment is close to my office. although it’s a bit pricey, but i prefer that way because i don’t need to spend much energy to take the train (and some other reasons also). whenever i do some works, i always try to find a fast and efficient way, i don’t like complicated things, i just want them to be done quickly without so much hassle.

in some ways i think it’s good because i can do many things efficiently. but in some other ways it’s not that good. because of that “saving energy” thing, i tend to become lazy. sometimes i don’t want to do things because i think it’s too troublesome, it takes too much effort. but just recently i started to get quite a lot of responsibilities, i was pushed to do things that actually i didn’t intend to do. but after doing it for a while, i started to feel something different. the passion that i once had when i was still in indonesia and gradually disappeared, i feel that i’m getting it back. my vision is getting bigger, i want to do much more things, i want to improve myself, taking challenges and grow as much as i can. to be honest there are still some parts of me inside that feel these things are too troublesome, but i think i have to overcome it. i realized that the laziness will bury down many of my potentials. i should be able to control my laziness, keep getting motivated, release all i have to reach my vision!

new creation – Rurouni Kenshin September 6, 2012

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first time i knew about rurouni kenshin (るろうに剣心) is when they broadcasted the anime in indonesian television (and changed the title into samurai x -__-a) when i was still in junior high-school. then it became one of my favorite anime, i could memorize all the opening and ending songs (even now i still remember some of them), and i have all the comic books in indonesian. this year they made the live action movie of it and i just watched it last week.

the story is about himura kenshin, an assassin known as “hitokiri battousai” during bakumatsu war. after the war ended, he decided not to kill anymore and became a wanderer. 11 years later he came to tokyo and met with kamiya kaoru, sanosuke sagara, and other friends where the main story began.

in the live action movie, i found it interesting when kaoru knew the fact that kenshin was the hitokiri battousai but still offered him to stay in her dojo. she said “you are not hitokiri battousai, you are himura kenshin”.

it just reminded me of God’s love for us. no matter how bad we were, no matter how evil things we did, as long as we admit our sins to Him, repent and do no more sins, He will forgive us and will not remember our sins anymore. so no need to feel guilty anymore. no more the old sinner me, only the new me living in His grace.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
– 2 Corinthians 5:17 [NLT]

And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.
– Hebrews 8:12 [NLT]

and also like in the movie, there might be times where temptations come and trying to pull us back to that old life. don’t give up, get back to God, His help is never too late.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
– 2 Corinthians 12:9 [NLT]

don’t lose your faith! – Moneyball January 6, 2012

Posted by lumierre9 in movies, values of life.
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Billy Beane is a former baseball player who chose the baseball career over entering Stanford University with a scholarship after being scouted and offered a contract by a famous baseball club. however, his career didn’t go as smooth as he thought and finally he decided to take the path of being a General Manager (GM) of Oakland A’s baseball club. the club is struggling to win the championship with their very limited budget because in the world of baseball, rich teams rules. they can buy any players they want with the money they have, while poor teams can only try to survive with what they have.

his decision to take a brave step to build the team based on the players’ statistics, inspired by an economics graduate whom he hired as his assistant, was strongly opposed by everyone in the team, who still have a hold on the “classic” way of seeing a player based on intuition or outer looks. not giving up, he tried all he can to prove his method until finally he brought the team to break the record of winning the most game consecutively and everyone starts to acknowledge it.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. -Hebrews 11:1 [NLT]

i think what Billy did is the same with what we call faith. we hope for something, we believe in something, although actually we still don’t know what will happen, but we still keep it. people might think we are foolish to believe something that is unseen, or can’t be proved, or can’t be explained logically. but if we know what we believe in, just have the confidence and don’t mind what people say or think about us. we might not be able to prove or explain it at the moment, but there will be the time when everything is made clear, so don’t lose your faith!

another point mentioned in the movie is another decision that Billy made in the end of the story. a very difficult choice between money and his dream. his final choice might not look good for other people, but he still keeps walking through his decision and not regretting it.

in our life, we might encounter many difficult choices like that. just follow our heart to make that decision, and whatever it is, and however it would turn out to be, don’t regret that decision. but of course, involve God also in making the decision and keep believing that God will do His part in it.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Romans 8:28 [NLT]

If you have faith, anything is possible. Anything at all. September 28, 2011

Posted by lumierre9 in inspiration, movies.
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first time I heard about Bethany Hamilton was when I read Nick Vujicic’s book. she is a surfer that lost one of her arm caused by a shark attack, but she didn’t lose hope and continue surfing. she wrote a book called “Soul Surfer” about her struggle after she lost her arm and how she overcome it. i haven’t read the book (but planning to buy it soon) but a while ago i watched the movie that was released earlier this year with the same title as the book. as a movie maybe it’s not as good as other movies, but her life story is really inspiring. (i wonder if they would ever make a move about Nick as well)

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” says the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. ” -Jeremiah 29:11-

after the accident, Bethany recalled this verse and started questioning God. she asked her church youth leader, “Sarah, how can this be God’s plan for me?” and Sarah just said “I don’t understand. I don’t know why terrible things happen to us sometimes. But I have to believe that something good is going to come out of this.”

she couldn’t accept it at first but after a while she tried to get back in the water. however her poor performance on a competition discouraged her and she decided to quit surfing. after going to a mission trip to help tsunami victims in thailand she got her motivation back to surf again.

a reporter asked Bethany a question after she almost won a regional championship, “I just wanted to ask you if you could go back to that day and not have gone surfing, would you do it?” and this is her answer:

I wouldn’t change what happened to me, because then I wouldn’t have this chance in front of all of you. This chance to embrace more people than I ever could have with two arms. I was born to surf. This is why I wake up
at the crack of dawn every day. This is why I endure belly rashes, reef cuts, muscles so tired they feel like noodles. And I’ve learned that life is a lot like surfing. When you get caught in the impact zone, you need to get right back up because you never know what’s over the next wave.
And if you have faith, anything is possible.
Anything at all.

somehow it’s related to the sermon at church last sunday by ps.Brenden Brown from Hillsong Church Australia about being strong and courageous. when Joshua was in a tough situation and God appointed him to become a leader, God told him to be strong and courageous up to four times. He wants to make us sure that He is with us no matter what the condition is. He has a great plan for us and by being strong and courageous people can see God who lives in us.

let God fill the gap April 9, 2011

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one of a recent anime in my watchlist is The World God Only Knows (Kami Nomi Zo Shiru Sekai or Kaminomi) that will soon air for its 2nd season…brought up from manga with the same title, the story is about a hardcore gamer who specializes in love simulation games…his ability to “conquer” every girl in every game he plays makes him known as “god”…knowing this, a devil was sent to have him help her capturing runaway spirits that reside in people’s empty hearts…

it is an entertaining story, and i never concerned about the concept of god, devil, or any spiritual things there, i just thought of it as a common thing just like any other anime i ever watched…until last sunday at church, the preacher said something that reminded me of this series…

“Only God can fill the gap in your heart”

that’s exactly what happens basically in Kaminomi…a girl has a gap in her heart which becomes a place for a runaway spirit and then ‘god’ brings love to fill that gap so that the spirit cannot stay there anymore…

i realized that it is the same in our real life…many people have these gaps, these emptiness in their hearts that often makes them feel bad, feel lonely that they run into things that they think can fill those gaps…some become too ambitious in certain thing, some seek attention from others by doing “crazy” things, some find temporary satisfaction from free sex or drugs, and so on…but actually, none of them can fill those gaps…deep inside they still feel the emptiness…

the fact is only God can fill those gaps…His unconditional love for us is the only answer to have a full life…not only me have experienced this, i know heaps of people whose lives are changed once they let God fill the gaps in their hearts…

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” -John 4:13-14 [NLT]

めんどうくさい!! – Hotaru no Hikari October 8, 2010

Posted by lumierre9 in life lessons, movies, values of life.

Hotaru no Hikari is a love comedy drama about an office lady named Hotaru who turns into a super lazy beer-loving self-centered girl that found love after so long time living without ever thinking about those kind of romantic thing. She is too full of herself that she always goes home directly after work, never joins any party with her colleagues, changes into training clothes which are the most comfortable outfits for her, drinks beer and falls asleep on the floor. After her love experience, she realized that there’s a lot of things outside her world that she didn’t know.

one of Hotaru’s personalities that caught my attention is that she thinks that most things are troublesome (めんどうくさい) that makes her too lazy to do, although perhaps they are important. i feel that i have some part of that feeling in me. sometimes i just feel too lazy to do stuffs because i think it’s troublesome for me. i prefer to just slacking off, idling around, doing more fun things. that is my comfort zone. it’s always said that you need to get out of your comfort zone to grow. that’s absolutely true. I feel that i don’t get anything after i stay in my comfort zone for too long.

these days i tried to discipline myself more. it’s very hard to get out of this comfort zone, but i have to force myself into it, otherwise i will never achieve my target. i can dream, but if i stay within my comfort zone, if i think that things are めんどうくさい, the dream will never come true. we can only reach our big dream if and only if we fight for it, do everything we need to do (not doing what we feel like to do), change our way of thinking that it’s not めんどうくさい because it’s important to us. there are so many things we can learn when we use our time for more useful things rather than just idling around.

dream is just a daydream until you wake up
and fight for that dream

3 Idiots – be excellent!! September 15, 2010

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I’ve never had any interest in Indian movies, because there are too many dancing scenes and stuffs that I think are ridiculous (no offense for Indian movies lovers)…but I will still watch it if it is a really good movie…there was Slumdog Millionaire, an Academy Award winner movie, that was a big hit two years ago…and then I heard about “3 Idiots” that was shown in Indonesian cinemas several months ago (so far I can remember)…all my friends who watched it said that it’s very good…I just watched it yesterday, and indeed it’s a good movie, in spite of those dancing scenes that I kinda despise :p

the story is about three roommates in a famous engineering college in India, one is a genius and two are just ordinary students who always rank the last in every exam…they became very good friends, had fun together but also faced many problems…after 10 years being separated, they finally meet up again…

a quote that is very good from this movie:

Follow excellence, and success will chase you!

that’s absolutely true!! many people feel satisfied enough with just being average, as long as I’m safe it’s okay…well, I was like that (and even now sometimes I feel too comfortable with my condition that is just so-so) and I found it bringing a lot of regrets afterwards…we need to be excellent in everything we do if we want to succeed, even in simple things…I’ve heard a lot of stories from people who get promotions in their jobs, salary raise, win awards, because they excel in what they do…

I always want to be like that, I committed to be excellent in what I do, but in practice I admit it’s a very hard thing to do…the answer might be in my yesterday’s journal, trust in God fully…if we put our trust in our own efforts, it will bring failure, otherwise, blessings will come after us…so let’s put our trust in God and do our best, be excellent in everything we do!!

Where the Wild Things Are – first thing first May 17, 2010

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a boy named Max ran away from his house after he felt that his mother didn’t care about him, and also his sister ignored him…he found a boat and sail away until he reached an island where the wild things are…Max convinced the wild things not to eat him and even he was made a king for them…but being a king is not easy task for Max, everything he did seems to be wrong…finally he decided to go back home…

actually i don’t find this movie very interesting, but people seems to like it seeing from the reviews on imdb…i also don’t really understand the plot of the movie until i read those…i can’t really say what i get from this movie, but perhaps i can reflect it with one of my experience that is kinda similar…

in the movie, Max’s mother was enjoying her time with her boyfriend and ignored Max when he wanted to play with her, she didn’t even make any food for Max but just gave him frozen corn instead…it was the peak point where Max couldn’t stand it anymore and ran away from home…compared to me, i have a friend and we used to be very close, we often hung out together, had a lot of fun, talked about a lot of things…but everything changed after she got a boyfriend…i feel being ignored like Max…

i was just thinking that a boyfriend or girlfriend can ruin someone’s relationship with other people that is actually important if he/she becomes the main focus of that someone…i believe such a thing happens a lot…that’s why in my country there’s a saying “when you’re with your boy/girlfriend, you will feel that the world belongs only to both of you, and other people are just renting the place”…

yeah it is good to spend some quality time with your boy/girlfriend, but it doesn’t mean that you can just ignore everyone/everything else…if so, i think it’s not a healthy relationship…everything that’s too much is not good…things have to be in balance…we will have loooooots of time only with our spouse after getting married, so why should we throw away the chance to make a lot of friends while we can…what’s good if you spend most of your free time with your boy/girlfriend and when you finally get married, you get bored after a year or two because you spend all day with him/her without any other friends…wouldn’t it be more beautiful if we can be happy with our boy/girlfriend but also can have fun with our friends and we can enjoy our time with our spouse after marriage better?

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs February 17, 2010

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first time i heard of the title, the first thing came into my mind is “what’s that supposed to mean??a weird title for an animation movie” so i didn’t bother it, maybe it’s just another not-very-good movie…then several months later, a friend asked me whether i have this movie or not, and at first i didn’t remember about it and i just realized that it was that animation movie…so after that i downloaded it but didn’t watch it right away…i just watched it several days ago n just found out that it’s quite interesting, and now i understand what the title means…

the story is about a genius boy, Flint Lockwood who dreamt to be a famous scientist…since he was small, he likes science a lot and even tried to invent some things that other people always find useless ^^ he grew up into a still-infamous-with-useless-inventions scientist having his lab in his house backyard…one day he invented a water-into-food converter machine called Flint Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator or FLDSMDFR (he doesn’t pronounce it “ef-el-di-es-em-di-ef-ar” but “fldsmdfr”) that screwed up the whole city at first, got a very good acknowledgement then, but finally brought another big trouble…

as a human being, it’s natural to have a feeling of wanting for acknowledgement from others…we want to be respected by others and never want to be ignored…that’s why many people are working very very hard to achieve something in order to get that one thing called acknowledgement…i think it’s one of basic needs of human…

Flint was always being mocked by his friends, being called “nerd” because of his interest, and never being respected…only his mother that supported him fully, and thanks to that, Flint is encouraged to pursue his dream…when the whole city was angry at him because his machine screwed up the city, he began to feel unworthy, he think of himself as just a piece of junk with all junks he invented…when finally the city acknowledged him, and the mayor persuade him to ‘misuse’ his machine for the mayor’s own needs, and although his father had reminded him, he chose to listen to the mayor otherwise he will lose all the acknowledgement…the time he finally realized that it’s wrong, the trouble is already unavoidable…

three points here:

1. let’s try to appreciate other people…no matter how weird we think they are or what they do, try to give appreciation to them…we never know that it would mean a lot to them, it even could change their life…but it’s never bad to give good appreciation to someone…and there’s nothing to lose for us also, right??

2. try to appreciate ourselves first…maybe we did something wrong, and everything doesn’t seem to go well because of us…don’t be discouraged and start to have a thinking like “i’m so bad, i shouldn’t have been born”…but think of it as a lesson, a motivation for us to be better and better…if we can never appreciate ourselves, how can we expect others to appreciate us??

3. keep walking in the right track…don’t ever mind people around you who ignored you as long as you’re doing the right thing…acknowledgement from God is far more precious than acknowledgement from human…better not receive any acknowledgement from human rather than doing wrong things and missing God’s acknowledgement…