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lessons of 2009 January 1, 2010

Posted by lumierre9 in chit-chat, life lessons.
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it’s year 2010 already, another year already passed…a lot of things happened, both good things and bad things, life’s up and down..as i reviewed my target of 2009, some are fulfilled, some are yet to be fulfilled, but some are totally out of expectation…

from the beginning of the year, i was preparing for my departure to this foreign land, saving money, spending times with my precious families…it’s not much and sometimes i still felt that i didn’t use that time quite well…so i came here on april, starting a brand new life here, meeting new people, learning a lot of new things, getting used to a new lifestyle until i passed these 9 months…still again, a lot of things that i regret, felt like a lot of things i did wrong, many times went wasted…i should have done better than this…

my biggest hit last year was about relationship…when i thought things had gotten better, the reality showed different thing…when i thought i still had some hope, it just vanished right in front of my eyes…everything went totally unexpected…after so much struggle since the previous year, in the end it still didn’t go as i wished for…i still don’t understand why, but i don’t wanna stuck on this thing forever…my mind told me to just keep moving forward, this world is vast, a lot of possibilities could happen, but my heart still can’t get away from the feeling…sometimes i feel that i’m lying to myself, i pretend that i don’t care anymore, but deep inside my soul is desperate about it…i dunno what will happen in the future…i dunno whom i will meet…i wanna have hope, but sometimes the feelings of uncertainty pop up, moreover with this idealism of mine…i wonder whether i should change my idealism or what…

but well, all i know for sure, God has prepared a very beautiful future for me, and i want to believe it…i can’t just stuck in the past forever, i need to move forward…although i still dunno how it will be, but i wanna still have that hope of a brighter future…no matter how small the hope i have right now, i have to protect it, and leave it to God’s hand, because all my hope in in Him…

i wanna face this year full of hope…i wanna trust Him fully, 100%…whatever it will be, i don’t want to lean on my understanding anymore otherwise i’ll just get hurt and dissapointed again…and i have to use my time more wisely, give my best and excel in everything so that i won’t have any regret anymore…i believe this year will be a much better year, where God will makes me grow stronger and stronger, and makes me glow upon this world…

“Keep moving forward, because life will surely
be much more beautiful than we think”
-仁-

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Comments»

1. meongijo - January 1, 2010

wahahahaha baru putus to mas andy *plaaak*

gapapa.. like your spirit 🙂 let’s do our best!

2. Risiana - January 2, 2010

ckckck…ada apa nih?

3. lumierre9 - January 2, 2010

hahaha…jangankan putus…jadi aja blm…wakakakaka…


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