Light The World

2 hours 29 minutes to year 2009 (on my computer’s clock)…

wow…lots of things happened this year…
feels like time passed so fast…feels like many things i did this year that i want to redo but well, you can’t change the past…all i can do is just learning from everything i’ve been through and facing the future ahead of me…

at the beginning of the year i started to enjoy my times with my CG team (the-A-team), although many hard things came into us, we faced them together and it made us more solid…but it didn’t last long because the team was rearranged then…my new team is doing well until now, but sometimes i missed the old one, wishing it could last longer…

still at the beginning, i faced my process of the year…i lost my digicam, with all my mom’s photos in israel in it…i was afraid she’s going to be angry at me knowing that…finally she knew, and as usual when things go wrong, she blamed things for that…in the end i used my savings to buy a new one…

around march, still in my efforts seeking scholarship to japan, i applied for tohoku institute of technology…i got a phone interview for that, but unfortunately i failed (again)…oh yeah, i was also waiting for ayf (asian youth fellowship) scholarship but i didn’t pass either…then i tried again for monbukagakusho scholarship…i decided that i have to make it…i revised my research proposal, got some advices from my friends, and sent the application…and i got called for the exam and interview…i did my best and thank God i made it! during the process, i tried to look for professor who will be my supervisor during my study in japan if i got accepted…i send e-mail to some (7?) professors with my research proposal, only two of them replied…one said that he couldn’t be my supervisor because he was on exchange to US…and the other one from tokyo institute of technology (TIT) brought me a good news, i got accepted…after i passed the exam and interview, i requested letter of acceptance to him and everything went well…thank God again…and the boring times began…i had to wait for the final announcement which is about january, about 4-5 months! it felt so loooongggg…but finally, about two weeks ago, i got called, i will go on april 1st…finally it’s clear, all my waiting are paid off…can’t thank God enough…but well, still a lot of things to do, waiting for the acceptance in the university, applying for visa, etc…

during my journey seeking for scholarship, i tried to upgrade my skills…i continued my japanese course (which took me long enough for getting a class) and took french course…don’t know why, but i enjoyed the french class better…hahaha…i also tried to earn some money by tutoring my cousin, making t-shirts, and since november i teach in binuscenter…

a huge thing for me that happened this year, is my relationship with her…first mid of the year i got closer to her, i could spend a lot of time with her, having fun, etc and finally i realized that i was in love with her…i thought everything would go well, since we were so close, i thought that even though she realized about that, we could discuss it and we could still be close…but it was a totally wrong assumption…suddenly i felt that she kept a distance from me, started avoiding me…it was so so uncomfortable, you know the feelings being avoided by your own close friend…i tried to have some talk with her, but she kept avoiding me…even on my birthday, i really really felt uncomfortable…finally i got a chance to talk, but she only want to talk through ym, and she was sooo angry at me…*sigh* it really bothered my mind for a couple of days until i got to manage it…after that, i tried to keep my distance from her, i was so afraid that she would get mad at me again, although i didn’t want to be like that…some moments later, she got better…she wasn’t as angry as before, but still i could feel the distance between us, we couldn’t chat or have fun like before, sometimes she was still being sentimental at me…several months passed, i could go through without thinking a lot about her anymore…but then i started missing her a lot, i was getting more and more sure about my feeling toward her and i want to fight for it…it’s really really hard for me, even until now…sometimes i felt that it’s been somewhat better, but sometimes i realized that it hasn’t…i don’t know…my time in bandung is just 3 months left, and i won’t be able to see her in about 1,5 months…gonna be missing her a lot…i can only leave everything to God…i will do my best, i will fight for my love, and i believe He will make a way…

1 hour and 2 minutes to year 2009…